Aw! You shouldn't have!!!

The Forque
If you see it here, you know it's Forqued.
Vol. 1

Imagine the look of surprise and amazement on the faces of the lucky folks who get these delightful gifts from the gift guides!

Nothing says "I'll love you forever" like wedding bands with plastic, recycled parts! These classic beauties can be yours for a mere $340!!! (Many thanks to Marni for bringing this to my attention!)


Well now, I can tell you that if I were a pre-teen boy, I would definitely want one of these! I bet there's some special lad in your life, with a birthday coming up, who would adore this tee shirt too! Trust me, he'll be the envy of all his buddies and he'll have you to thank for it!
I can't tell you how many times I've walked into someone's home and thought to myself, "What this place needs is a coat rack made out of baby doll arms!!!" And voila!!! Here one is in the gift guides! Believe you me, I will be hearting this classic piece, to buy for my next housewarming party!
For the fashionable gal who wants to sop up her sweat like a lady, there's always the Eartha Kit demi turban. It also had the added benefit of pulling your skin back so tight that all your wrinkles will disappear (just look at Eartha Kit, who actually was wrinkled like a Sharpei, but cleverly hid the mountainous folds of flesh behind her turbans). I think any grandma or wrinkled sweaty person would completely appreciate the thought behind this tres chic item! Even the model is excited to be wearing it!

Guys LOVE rainbows!!! Throw in some pink and a big ol' floppy hood and you have a sure fire winner. This amazing hoodie is from a perennial favorite, Rufeoheartslilsnoty. We just can't get enough of his attractive, well-made clothing, and neither can the gift guides! Just be sure to warn the fellow you are purchasing it for, not to stretch it or he'll snap the seam-stitching.

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Unfortunate photos from the gift guides

Oh my! Is it just me, or does this photo look like a goose backed up to someone's best bone china and dropped a little surprise? First rule of food photography...you want to get a photo of it BEFORE it passes through the digestive tract.


The Miss Congeniality winner, in the Miss Drag USA competition did not mean it when she said "I was just happy to be able to compete." Eventually her bad attitude did her in and she was forced to turn in her tiara. Miss Cattiest Bitch took over her duties and allegedly told reporters "I knew she wouldn't be able to cut the mustard."


If you can't get fat enough to grow your own cankles, never fear! Cankle spats are here!


One can NEVER have enough rhinestones. By the way, the eighties called, they want their lipstick back.

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Taking suggestions

I'm now taking suggestions for ETC. See something gross in a gift guide? Find some offal in the editor's picks? Or maybe you just can't believe the appalling shop that was highlighted in a Storque article. Send your ideas to me! Suggest a treasury! Shine the spotlight on a dark and stinky corner that Etsy was hoping nobody would notice. If I can make it funny, I will post about it.

In the meantime, enjoy this funh find from the gift guides! This darling toy is a rocking horse...er....doggie and it's made from a repurposed rocking chair. How fun! Oh, but the kids can't ride on it, so I guess it isn't really a toy, that's a shame, but they say it's perfect for a plant stand. Now that's an original idea, putting a plant on an unstable surface for those wild xtreme house plant owners who love to live risky and on the edge.

Best of all, it can be yours for a trifling $240 plus $40 shipping!!!!!

Send your suggestions to EtsyWTF@gmail.com

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