Promotionalicious Goodness!!!!

The Forque
If you see it here, you know it's forqued!
Vol. 2



With the handmade market blooming like ragweed in the springtime, we here at ETC understand how hard it is to be seen. Each seller is really just one tiny drop in an ocean of shops. That's why we are uber pleased to announce the our new promotional program! Now everyone can find a spot in those coveted gift guides or become a featured seller in The Forque, not just my besties and fave sellers! Our favorite admin, DanielleX-hungryhungryhip-O, came up with a brilliant promotional opportunity we like to call "Pay to Play"!

It's really quite simple. You send us gifts and we make sure you get free advertising from ETC! Here are the gift giving monetary standards:

• $10 and under: A mention of your shop in Twitter.
• $15: Your item in a Treasury.
• $20: An enthusiastic mention in Twitter, using excited adjectives like "super-cute", "XXX goodness", "awesomeness", and "totally loving" plus an actual link to your item AND one of your items in a Treasury.
• $21-$30: All of the above plus an item from your shop in the "related items" part of a Forque article.
• $31-$49: All of the above plus a spot in the coveted gift guides.
• $50-$65: All of the above plus a spot in our spammy email, ETC Finds
• $66-$100: All of the above AND The Forque Featured Seller Spotlight.
• $101 and up: All of the above and... (drum roll please) we'll send you a DVD of some White Supremacist inmates forcing a sobbing and drooling Rob White to toss their salad. Now doesn't THAT sound fun?

We here at ETC are pleased to be able to offer this great opportunity to you sellers and hope that you'll be showing us the appropriate gratitude for making it available to you. We don't want to hear any more pissing and moaning about favoritism anymore (cough cough! Etsybitches). Now it's all fair and even and anyone can be an ETC fave. If you don't have the money to cough up for the Pay to Play gifting program, then that's your fault for being such a broke dick.

Ho ho ho! Happy Holidays! and Happy Hannukah! (see how multicultural we are?)

Your good friends at ETC.

Complete Guide to Business Ethics

On a more serious note: Venting is all very well and fine, but if you have a genuine complaint please report it to the Better Business Bureau. I am here only to have a little fun and provide an outlet for my frustrations over the frequent BS I see, but the only way for real issues to be taken seriously is to report them to the correct agency. Please don't rely on this blog, Etsybitch, Regretsy or any of the other bloggers to "get the message through to Etsy. Maria, Rob, DanielleXO and all the rest don't take any of this seriously. They WILL, however, take reports to the BBB seriously and if they don't, their apathy will be there for all the world to see.

REPORT YOUR ISSUES HERE

Vistaprint.com

Saturday is the perfect day for a yard sale!!!

Especially when you know you won't get caught because the admins don't police the site on Saturdays! Thank you to the kind anonymous soul who contributed this gem!

Thank you Etsy Callout for providing links to other great yard sales! We just love yard sales! Wheeeeee!

I guess now that the Mary Kay lady has stopped selling makeup, someone had to take her place.

Wow! A genuine 1994 vintage Disney trading card! Super Duper!!!

Oooo! Just for some extra fun, I HAD to post this eco-friendly, repurposed Michael Jackson melted record bowl! I just can't get enough of those! I'm hoping to get enough to complete a ten place serving! Speaking of Environmental issues, please read this article about how "green" Rob Kalin is and help me figure out in what universe is this man "green." Clearly he and his staff of mindless flunkies have NO idea what is and isn't eco friendly. They ovbviously see "eco friendly" as just another catch-phrase for selling things.


I just love Peruvian imports!!!

Vistaprint.com

It's the most wonderful time of the year!!!!

Well boys and girls! Christmas is right around the corner and you know what that means? Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all kinds of fun new bells and whistles here at Etc!

Our first new feature is a gift guide button that will take sellers out of your shop and straight to our super fabulous gift guides that are packed with lots of Etc Fave Wonderfulness! Not to worry...it's just a small, unobtrusive button. Yes, it might entice some people to leave your shop and buy elsewhere, but really, those customers should have been shopping at our favorite seller's shops anyway...not yours.

We understand that some people may have a problem with this issue, but really it's just the same ten sellers who complain anyway, right? And you love Etc and want us to do well because when Etc does well, we ALL do well, right? And you love those favorite sellers in the gift guides just as much as we do, don't you? After all, you are the ones who put them in your treasuries time after time.

They deserve the sales more than you do because it takes real talent to glue rhinestones to a piece of felt, knit giant ugly cowls, and dump some rocks and moss into a jar and call it a terrarium. You're just a hack anyway and they are REAL artists. So in the spirit of giving, this Christmas season, stop being selfish and appreciate the opportunities that Etc has given you and let us decide who should and shouldn't be getting the sales this holiday season. Mmmkay?

Oh PS: There's also a wacky new feature that will take your buyers to a better place when they click the "buy" button! It's just a little bit of whimsical, wacky Etc fun, we know you'll think it's super duper too! Feel free to click on the interactive links on our samples below!!!

Vistaprint.com