Hop off the Hamster Wheel

Stop this Hamster Wheel

Borrowed from John Mayer Stop This Train Lyrics

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the front page is gray and white
I try to keep an open mind
but just can't renew tonight

Stop this wheel
I want to get off
And create again
I don't care for the clique that's moving in
I know I can
But honestly, won't someone stop this wheel?

Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my money go
Twenty cents at a time
From my bank account so forlorn

Stop this wheel
I want to get off
And create again
I don't care for the clique that's moving in
No way no way man
But honestly, won't someone stop this wheel?

So scared of getting buried
I only want to be on page one
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to get on front page number one

Had a talk with Etsy admins
Said "help me understand"
They said "all ya gotta do is buy into the Etsy brand.
We won't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you sell
Don't stop renewing, don't try to understand
We have the issue well in hand
Honestly, we'll never stop this train."

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
Make you feel safe and sound
And you won't know a thing
Til you cry when see your Etsy bill.

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Promotionalicious Goodness!!!!

The Forque
If you see it here, you know it's forqued!
Vol. 2



With the handmade market blooming like ragweed in the springtime, we here at ETC understand how hard it is to be seen. Each seller is really just one tiny drop in an ocean of shops. That's why we are uber pleased to announce the our new promotional program! Now everyone can find a spot in those coveted gift guides or become a featured seller in The Forque, not just my besties and fave sellers! Our favorite admin, DanielleX-hungryhungryhip-O, came up with a brilliant promotional opportunity we like to call "Pay to Play"!

It's really quite simple. You send us gifts and we make sure you get free advertising from ETC! Here are the gift giving monetary standards:

• $10 and under: A mention of your shop in Twitter.
• $15: Your item in a Treasury.
• $20: An enthusiastic mention in Twitter, using excited adjectives like "super-cute", "XXX goodness", "awesomeness", and "totally loving" plus an actual link to your item AND one of your items in a Treasury.
• $21-$30: All of the above plus an item from your shop in the "related items" part of a Forque article.
• $31-$49: All of the above plus a spot in the coveted gift guides.
• $50-$65: All of the above plus a spot in our spammy email, ETC Finds
• $66-$100: All of the above AND The Forque Featured Seller Spotlight.
• $101 and up: All of the above and... (drum roll please) we'll send you a DVD of some White Supremacist inmates forcing a sobbing and drooling Rob White to toss their salad. Now doesn't THAT sound fun?

We here at ETC are pleased to be able to offer this great opportunity to you sellers and hope that you'll be showing us the appropriate gratitude for making it available to you. We don't want to hear any more pissing and moaning about favoritism anymore (cough cough! Etsybitches). Now it's all fair and even and anyone can be an ETC fave. If you don't have the money to cough up for the Pay to Play gifting program, then that's your fault for being such a broke dick.

Ho ho ho! Happy Holidays! and Happy Hannukah! (see how multicultural we are?)

Your good friends at ETC.

Complete Guide to Business Ethics

On a more serious note: Venting is all very well and fine, but if you have a genuine complaint please report it to the Better Business Bureau. I am here only to have a little fun and provide an outlet for my frustrations over the frequent BS I see, but the only way for real issues to be taken seriously is to report them to the correct agency. Please don't rely on this blog, Etsybitch, Regretsy or any of the other bloggers to "get the message through to Etsy. Maria, Rob, DanielleXO and all the rest don't take any of this seriously. They WILL, however, take reports to the BBB seriously and if they don't, their apathy will be there for all the world to see.

REPORT YOUR ISSUES HERE

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Saturday is the perfect day for a yard sale!!!

Especially when you know you won't get caught because the admins don't police the site on Saturdays! Thank you to the kind anonymous soul who contributed this gem!

Thank you Etsy Callout for providing links to other great yard sales! We just love yard sales! Wheeeeee!

I guess now that the Mary Kay lady has stopped selling makeup, someone had to take her place.

Wow! A genuine 1994 vintage Disney trading card! Super Duper!!!

Oooo! Just for some extra fun, I HAD to post this eco-friendly, repurposed Michael Jackson melted record bowl! I just can't get enough of those! I'm hoping to get enough to complete a ten place serving! Speaking of Environmental issues, please read this article about how "green" Rob Kalin is and help me figure out in what universe is this man "green." Clearly he and his staff of mindless flunkies have NO idea what is and isn't eco friendly. They ovbviously see "eco friendly" as just another catch-phrase for selling things.


I just love Peruvian imports!!!

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Upcycled doesn't have to be ugly!

As has been proven here, upcycled and recycled materials need not be ugly. Gone are the days of toilet paper tube cosmetic nooks, dishwashing liquid bottle dollies with lightbulb heads, and plastic two-litre bottle wind spinners! Say hello the new age of attractive upcycling! I can't think of a single living room or foyer that wouldn't look better with this classy, hanging lamp, made from plastic inkjet cartridges! And think of how excited someone will be when they tear off the gift wrap and see this fun item at the bottom of the box! What a fun housewarming gift for some lucky mobile home owner! Add a red velvet sofa and some strategically placed moss gardens, and you have room decor fit for a king!

Speaking of sofas...do I spy Martha Stewart sitting on the sofa in the background of this photo?

This gem was submitted by Sandra.

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Does your blood run pink?

I am SO so excited! I just learned that I can now get my favorite costmetics at my favorite place to shop! I can't believe they have been around since March 2009 and I missed them, but now that I know they are there, I feel I must share the joyful news with you all! Ladies, please take a moment to do something nice for yourself. Help Kristi Linebarger get that pink Cadillac she so richly deserves! Buy something sweet and lovely from this wonderful seller and have a very pink Labour Day!

The Mary Kay products have been removed.
updated 9/11/09

The "Props 2 ya!" page has been amended.

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Priceless Wedding

• Wooden Doll Blanks - $8.95 per pack of 50
• Acrylic paint pens - $12
• Finding a wedding-frenzied bridzilla willing to pay $85 for two little doll cake toppers that even a fifth grader could make - PRICELESS

Vendolius caveo

Oh my goodness! Sometimes I see things that just bring out the Miss Manners in me and today, I saw the most shameful item at Miss Kitty's blog! I learned of a buyer who chastised a seller for not including a free gift!

I love this little book,thank you for selling it to me! You know most Etsy sellers at least put in a little thankyou note, most put in thank you gifts, you had nothing...it felt strange and cold...just a suggestion to at least say thank you to the person buying from you, and you do want return business don't you?

Yes indeed, a polite "thank you" note is a nice thing to slip into your customer's packaging, but really...there is no etiquette rule that states a seller must give you a free gift in addition to your purchase! Chastising in public like that, especially for such a minor issue, is a Miss Manners no-no, Darlene! Publicly telling a seller that you won't shop with them because they did not include a free gift reveals your greed as much as the alleged transgression you had hoped to reveal. Small home businesses are having a hard enough time today, without greedy, people trying to squeeze extra freebies out of them. For shame!!!

The diplomatic and tactful way to handle that issue, if you simply had to say something, would have been to write a polite private note, not to create an embarrassing and uncomfortable public scene.

thanks for selling the calendar to me, you were smart to get in on a sale at Staples and triple your money! I will also do that by now framing the photos for resale! :)

Darlene, Darlene, Darlene! Did your mother not ever tell you that public discussions about another person's finances were quite inappropriate? Of course your kind shopkeeper made a profit on her merchandise! That is what business is all about! But to announce her mark-up to all and sundry was a tactless breech of business etiquette! How would you like it if someone posted YOUR Etsy shop's markup?

As a final note, after perusing your other feedback, it does appear as if you are extra sweet...almost flirtatious...with the sellers who send you extra treats and goodies. There is a not-so-nice name for ladies whose affections can be courted by the promise of gifts. I know we need not go there, do we? Worse yet, implying to others with that very public message, that they too could suffer the same fate and have their feedback sullied, if they don't give you free goodies, in addition to the item that you ordered, not only borders on blackmail, but lets the world see that you can be bought for the price of a two-bit brass angel charm.

Now really...you don't want that, do you?

Tsk tsk.

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The Hot New Trend!!!

I've finally blazed into trendy hipsterness with the next hot craze at Etc! Since Etcians are so very, very fond of fake body hair, I'd like introduce my new line of fake body hair too!

I present to you FUBIC HAIR!!!

Yes, now you too can live out all your hirsute fantasies and have fun, technicolor body hair without the hassle of growing and dying it yourself! Jazz up a boring bikini line! Or spice up a tepid tubetop! And do it with FLAIR!!!

Comes in two styles, the Madonna (armpit hair) or the Pamela Anderson (bikini line pubic hair) and five sparkly colors:

• What's Eating Gilbert Grape Purple (pictured)
  
• Raspberry Beret Fuschia
  
• Cyber Porn Electric Blue
  
• Tree Hugger Bright Green
  
• Oh My Goth Glittery Black
  

Kit includes all natural and eco-friendly materials:

• fake hemp hair accented with recycled silver lame' threads, from genuine vintage disco clothes
  
• reusable skin adhesive, made from 100% all natural bee's wax
• an attractive, upcycled, fabric drawstring bag for your product, to keep in your purse for those unexpected, emergency Fubic hair situations
• instructions for application, removal, and cleaning care (written on 100% recycled toilet paper)

Hurry! Bikini season is right around the corner! Get them while they're hot! First 50 orders will receive a FREE eco-friendly melted record bowl and a Summer cowl!

$48.95 + $15 shipping and handling

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I heard it from a little birdie

I heard that Rob White is having a birthday! So I made this lovely treasury just for him!

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HAPPY ETC DAY!!!!!

HAPPY ETC DAY!!!!!

I just wanted to thank all of you who participated in this very, VERY special day! Soon I am sure that the WHOLE WORLD will know about Etc and the magic of handmade!!!

Special thanks to C over at Ugly Things for Sale and Pussdaddy for their very kind well wishes for Etc's special day!

Kudos also to EtsyBitches for allowing me to read and post on their blog; it has truly been a pleasure and inspiration!

And finally, my sincerest thanks to all the lovely twitterzens who retweeted my Etc Day tweets and helped to spread the word about this momentous day!!!

As my extra special reward to you, I offer up this peachy treasury (sorry, no cash rewards or discounts)! I know the prices are a bit steep, but really, that's the price one pays for the magic of handmade.

• Old brown and blue sweatshirts from your brother's laundry pile that you wove into wearable "art" $80
• Pair of old Sally Jesse plastic framed glasses that you dug out of your mom's makeup drawer $18
• White crochet headband that you made for your textiles badge in Girl Scouts when you were in 4th grade $40
• Finding people to advertise your site for free PRICELESS

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Let's all celebrate ETC DAY this Friday!!!

I just had the most delightalicious idea! Let's designate Friday, May 1, 2009 as the first annual ETC DAY! I do hate to spend money on promoting and advertising, so I thought it would be fun to launch a mass campaign of grass-roots guerrilla promoting to get the word out about my tres FABOO blog!!!! And best of all, I would hardly have to do a thing! I know all my loyal fans would love to help me and it's so easy, here are some ideas for what you can do to spread the word about Etc:

1. Make everyone in your family wear a fake mustache all week long with signs around their necks that say "Mass consumer and proud of it!" Then when people ask them about it, they can say they do ALL their shopping at Etc!!!
2. Spray paint "ETC RULZ", in big orange letters, on your garage door!
3. Spam the internet like it's 1999! I'll help you by providing a three-tiered outline for getting the word out: Social Networking - Twitter, facebook, myspace, chat rooms, stumbleupon, craigslist, and forums are good places to start spreading the word. Email - Send a announcements to every single person on the contacts list for your email account. Advertising - Put your money where your mouth is and dig deep. Pay to do some prime time advertising for Etc on Tim Adams Designs, Craftcult, Etsybitches, and adwords!
4. Stand outside of Costco and Sam's Wholesale and stop customers and tell them how much better Etc is than any big box store.
5. Ladies, your cleavage is prime advertising real estate, use it to advertise more than just your sex appeal! Get "Shop Etc" tattooed on each bazoom!
6. Expectant mommies, name your babies Betsy Etc!
   
7. Go to the airport and love bomb people. Hand out orange paper flowers (available here, at Oriental Trading Company for a special Etc Day price), hug people, and try to assimilate them into the Etc collective. But that is a bit cultish, would a legitimate art venue do that? Oh well, let's just do it and worry about that silly little detail later.
   

Get the Etc name out there in the loudest, most obnoxious, spammiest way you can think of!!!! Make sure to record your efforts with video or photos (if you upload photos to Flickr, make sure to tag them "Etc Day 2009" because I'll DEFINITELY be doing this next year and for years to come).

I'll be highlighting the funniest, weirdest, spammiest, most personally degrading efforts on my Blog and on my social networks, and I'll make sure to link back to you. For those of you who are not my favorite sellers or BFFs, here is a great opportunity to work your little patooty off and finally get my attention and receive the shop promotions I know I should have been sending your way all along.

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Shabby Shriek!!!

SHRIIIEEEEK!!!!

Oopsie! Sorry! I forgot to use my inside voice, but when I saw the price tags on these gift guide goodies, I lost myself for a moment there! I never knew Shabby Chic was SO lucrative even in this oh so dreadful economy!

I'm going to have to go out and buy some fraying fabric and a Craft Robo now. I think if I add fake cloth flowers and vinyl decals to my terrarium enterprise, I'll finally get my own front page feature and make boodles of bucks!

If you'd like to see more Shabby Chic fabric flowers, be sure to check out this lovely site!

Rhetoric at a Glance

Irony

Pronunciation:

\ˈī-rə-nē also ˈī(-ə)r-nē\

Function:noun

The use of words to convey the opposite of their literal meaning; a statement or situation where the meaning is contradicted by the appearance or presentation of the idea.

The wallet is ironic humor.
The fact that it appeared in the gift guides is oxymoronic.

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A gentle word about "Environmental Friendliness"

A new treasury! A new treasury!!! Of course, I can always rely on the wonderful gift guides and front page features to find the best of the best! And just look at how the pretty, unique, and beautifully hand-crafted each and every item is! I'm tickled pink to see more mustaches and terrariums! Nobody can ever have enough of those!

There are SOOOO many talented artists and clearly only the VERY best of the best get chosen to be featured! I had a hard time stopping with just nine!

Oh, but I do hate to be a nagging noodle, but I see a wee problem with something I found in the Environmentally Friendly Gift Guide!

Vinyl Record Bowl

This is not a very environmentally friendly item. When record vinyl is heated up it releases dreadfully dangerous fumes and toxins!

Vinyl records are made from Polyvinyl chloride, (IUPAC Polychloroethene) commonly abbreviated PVC. Polyvinyl chloride is produced by polymerization of the monomer vinyl chloride, and a significant proportion of its mass is chlorine. Heating up vinyl records may result in the outgassing of phthalate plasticizers as well as emissions of vinyl chloride and dioxins. Vinyl chloride is a known carcinogen that results in Angiosarcoma and hemangiosarcoma.

I know I know, you are thinking "Silly Betsy Etc is making a big mountain out of a wee little mole hill! It is just a few records! Not a big scary factory!" But think about it, the melted record bowl is being presented as an "environmentally friendly" way to recycle old record albums, and you know how those rad and trendy hipsters just love to jump on that big green gravy train. After a while, it won't just be one or two people doing it, it will be every other person in Etc.land doing it! Maybe it won't make as big of an environmental footprint on poor Mother Earth as a mean old industrial factory, but then again, it isn't really "Earth Friendly" either, now is it?

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Hipsters in Space!

Oh teehee! What a cute, funny, AND informative cartoon! Now I can have a better handle on what all the hip and rad people are wearing so I can finally fit in! We could all learn some important fashion lessons from Hipsters in Space. Let's get some popcorn and watch it together!



Thanks to infivision for bringing this to my attention!

Etc Featured Seller!

My creative entrepreneur du jour is The72Pin. Just look what this clever boots has done with Nintendo and Atari games! He has taken the mundane and turned it into something attractive and fashionable! How creative and inventive and oh so unique! My only question is why hasn't this wonderful seller been featured yet? There are already so many creative toy upcyclers galore, even celebrities are in on this hot new trend! Surely this artist should be featured too? He takes toy upcycling to a whole new and exciting level!

I am especially fond of this tres adorable Gameboy Advance necklace!



For a romantic evening, this NES Mario 3 Cartridge Necklace would be quite alluring!



Of course my husband, Mr. Etc, would probably love this necklace on me much more. It's a Fully Functional Super Nintendo Necklace! Though truly, faux fur and pearls are much more to my taste. I've never been a fishnet kind of girl. Still, that is what I live for...to please that man of mine!


The72Pin even has his own blog, just like me and his creative lady friend has her own calendar!!! Oh please, do be sure to give this enterprising duo a few minutes of your time to check out their sites and items! It's always so wonderful to find new and original artists!

Thank you to Callin' Out on Etsy for bringing this delightful seller to my attention!

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Green and Growing in Springtime!

Oh LOOK! I made a terrarium too! Goodie for me! And best of all it was so easy and cheap to make! My little nine year old niece, Skipper, showed me how to do it! I'm going to start making them and selling them. I see that they're fetching upwards of $40-$50!!!! Wow! And all it cost was a DOLLAR to make! I'm going to be RICH in no time!!!

Mr. Etc was kind enough to film me making one and I wrote out the instructions. Now you can make one too! Let's all get rich together!!!

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Just sayin'...

We should be eternally vigilant
against attempts to check the expression
of opinions that we loathe.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

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Babes in toyland

Another treasury! How thrilling! I'm especially thrilled with this bright, colorful and childlike theme!!

I think it's so wonderful that they are finding fun and creative uses for their recently outgrown toys! Why, I can remember, as a young girl, loving my legos, wooden blocks, shrinky dinks! Who would have thought that with a little glue and and some glitter, they would get such a crafty second life as such artistically inspiring pieces? Mona Lisa, move over!

As usual, I've only picked the cream of the crop for my treasury. All of these funderful items were pulled straight out of Storque articles, gift guides, and editor's picks.

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Be sure to drop by and say hello to "Ugly Things for Sale" Don't be fooled, she really has the most beautiful finds. She's just being modest! Click the photo below to view the site:

More Gift Guide Delights!

Spring is on the way! How EXCITING!!!! Mother Nature is just bursting with flowery goodness! I was so inspired by nature and the latest gift guides that I made myself this lovely toilet paper dress! It has a hip, polka dotty sash around the waste...ooopsie! Pardon my Freudian slip...I meant waist!

Since toilet paper is made from trees, I am happy as a kitty with cream that I'm reusing my toilet paper in a way that is both fashionable and eco-friendly! I just love nature, don't you? I think I'll go hug a tree!

And here are some more unique and special handmade delights for you to enjoy! I found them featured in the gift guides!

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